Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
This is not good.
We thought this was the last stronghold. What does this mean?
Got any magic in you? Bahamut, how you doing here, buddy?
In an instant, the spiraling energy, as if drawn from the center of the group, pulls quickly in, and the group is gone.
I thought you might not come back, but you're back!
And Flint's still out, and she's shaking.
They don't let them out from the sounds of it, correct?
No.
I mean, that was what we were led to believe.
Well, they take them out, but only to exterminate or destroy them.
We have another party out trying to recover a relic of supposed teleportation.
If we have a god who can harness that power, there's no stopping us from being able to move through not only space, but maybe time.
If it was in fact Vorunax and Lipsinki that you saw, they will be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary.
Well, they did see us disappear in a giant flash of magic, so...
And appear in one.
Well, then it might not be long before they are able to find us.
Debris is thrown, and people scream as they are struck by heavy stone.
It comes back to you in a flash of a memory, back to a greenery-filled cave.
With Flint and Nularaaaa at your side, as an adult green dragon emerges from the watery cave and roars before you.
Staring through at you is an undead cooth.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I'm your dungeon master, Russ More. He-him. Also with me today is Tom Laird.
He-him, and I'm playing Telgir, Heavyfoot, a mountain dwarf pAlydin. Who also goes by He-him.
And Carla Maxted.
She-her. I'm playing Yen Bolnuri, a Kalishtar cleric. Also She-her.
And Amy More.
Yeah, She-her, and I'm playing Thea Amastasia, a high elf druid. Also She-her.
Well, it's lovely to have you all here with me, even though I sprung a dragon on you.
Is it, Russ?
Is it? Is it?
I was like, hey...
Do you actually hate us?
No, why would I hate you?
I love you all.
That's why I ask myself all the time, why would Russ hate us?
What did we do?
We've been friends for so long.
Why is he doing this to us?
Yeah, I know.
Why is there an undead dragon trying to kill us all?
It's the darkest timeline. If there wasn't an undead dragon trying to kill you, what are we even doing here?
Is everything okay in our marriage? Are you projecting something?
Because we can talk about it. You don't need to put it in the game.
This episode is just working through Russ's deep-seated issues with each and every one of you.
I mean, honestly, I might prefer that to dying by dragon.
Again?
That's true. This is not Carla's first rodeo with a dragon.
I figure, you know, if you can separate yourself from the character, I'll just for a minute put yourself in it.
Yenbul hasn't even seen a dragon.
It's true.
Maybe. I don't know, Yenbul's past.
I feel like it's true. She's traveled.
She probably has seen one, but...
I mean, you see Donnie.
I don't know that she's fought one.
A dragon.
Basically.
He's going to get some turns.
I can't, yeah.
Nope. I'm going to go save the kids. All right.
Do you remember in the preamble to the last episode where Russ was like,
hey, guys, we might do this differently if we like get into combat the whole time.
He's sitting there with a fucking undead dragon in his back pocket.
I can't wait to popcorn this thing.
When do I drop it?
It's got to be good.
When do I? No, I knew it was going to come at the end.
Of course. That's the hook.
Yeah, that's the hook.
For the next episode.
It kept you coming back for more over here,
and where we keep you coming back for more is in our other show over on
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
where we play just fun goofs and guffaws.
Tom tries to make it serious sometimes, but then we're like,
yeah, but what about the downtown office and bees?
I mean, usually I just roll with whatever shenanigans you guys want to get up to.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, we have a lot of fun.
It's mostly derailment, not a lot of railroading.
I feel like Tom's just like that best babysitter.
You know the one.
Yes.
The one that lets you do whatever is like really awesome,
very forgiving and just really willing to go with it.
Yeah, that's why you keep being like,
oh, bring that one back.
Bring that babysitter back.
Bring Tom back.
I want to see Tom.
No, it's not Tom's time yet.
We have to drop an undead dragon on you.
Who's that?
It's Batman.
What?
We have to drop an undead dragon on you.
Look, don't look at the face.
You have to drop an undead dragon on you.
Batman have a little bit of a stroke?
If you're doing Batman wrong,
it's just the top half of the face.
Right.
All right.
I'm Batman.
Oh, God.
Where I was going with that is you also get an episode,
the episode dedicated to you when you're a patron.
You get an episode dedicated to you?
Yep.
All right.
Mocha Mocamo.
Mocha Mocamo?
Oh, wow.
That's right.
This is your episode, Mocha.
I'm loving it.
Thank you, Mocha.
Very funny.
Thank you.
Let's hope it's not the one where we die.
That's right.
You don't want that one dedicated to you.
Look, this is episode 98.
I can't kill you on 98.
I got to kill you on 100.
Really?
Well, let's make a note of that, guys.
We'll forget.
I make a lot of notes that I never once look at again.
I never make any notes because I caught on
that I'll never look at them again.
Yeah.
Well, that's how we're here.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
Fuck it.
Let's play.
You said that by me not taking notes,
now we're fighting an undead dragon.
Now we're in the darkest timeline.
We know it's Slyosin's bad filing skills that got us here.
Don't try to put this off on me.
That was a downtime thing.
This was in episode.
It counts more.
Okay.
Boom.
Crash.
The sound of my heart.
The beat goes on and on and on and on.
Boom.
Crash.
Is Fifi Dobson Canadian?
Yeah.
Yes.
Nice.
We did it.
A little Canadian music for you.
Although.
I thought that was a different artist that sang that song.
Yeah, I think it is.
Oh, is it?
Sorry.
It's Charlie XCX.
Yeah.
And I think that person is British.
I believe so.
Well, we said boom crash.
Yeah.
I always thought it was boom crash.
I've been singing it wrong this whole time.
Definite boom clap.
Yeah.
It's a definite boom clap.
So.
Definite boom clap.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And there's your episode recap.
Yeah.
That's it.
I mean, there was a lot of heartfelt stuff too, but mostly there's a dragon staring
down.
Leosen is standing beside you.
We have to get everybody to the vessel now.
Can you hold them long enough that we can get moving?
Yeah.
We got it.
Do we leave a note or something for the crew coming back?
Do they know where to go?
Shit.
Yes.
We'll leave them a message.
It will trigger when they come back and it will tell them where we went.
And hopefully they have what we need and can meet us there.
Okay.
Get out of here.
We got this.
He follows behind a group who are madly trying to move Flint and Grancis and Bahamut
from the next room and get them down the hallway.
She is pushing past, you know, doing that, wading through a crowd going in the opposite
direction as you to get to the front by a toll gear.
And I'm hoping there's more than one exit from these tunnels.
I mean, it is the sewers.
So you would think so.
Everybody appears to be running in the very opposite direction.
So more where you are or were, we didn't specify exactly where you were.
Kind of alluded to the fact that you might have come up front, but you could still be
back with the kids if you want to be.
But yeah, there is an exit further to the back that has been unobstructed as of this
moment anyways.
Yeah, I think that Yen Bull will maybe spend a moment kind of like making sure,
you know, putting on tiny backpacks and just making, getting everybody out.
Tying some shoes.
Cutting the crusts off sandwiches extra fast.
Exactly.
And then she will go towards the danger, which she doesn't even know what it is yet.
Like it's the, what I picture is like the panicked, like single shot, like moving
through this extended zone, like from the dragon where Tullgeir and Thier are pushing
towards and Leosen running away following him, moving down, seeing all of these people
like picking up stretchers with their wounded and carrying them to the back and everybody
kind of swarming and funneling down in as we see Yen Bull at the back, who we then follow
back towards this dragon.
Roll for initiative.
Seven.
Eighteen.
Twenty-seven.
Wowzer.
Good.
Isn't that twenty?
Okay.
So in initiative, do you guys want Flamikins with you or do you want her to go back
to the vessel?
Well, she is the captain of the vessel, right?
So, yeah, I mean, I'd like to have her because she can do some cool shit, but
realistically, she should probably be leading the escape party if she's the only
one that can do it.
Okay.
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
Change of rules.
We're going to try what's called Popcorn Initiative.
This is we've got like cool music underneath this.
All right. Everybody's dancing.
Everybody's grooving. It's a great time in Popcorn Initiative.
You've hit the start menu and you've gone to the help section.
And now Russ is telling you all about this new initiative.
That's right. We found it because Michael Howey in one of the discords was like,
hey, have you heard about this?
I was like, no, but it sounds pretty cool.
So we're going to try it.
So we roll initiative as per usual.
But the highest goes first.
That's normal so far.
Following me?
Still the same.
After that, that person gets to pick who goes next.
It doesn't matter who rolled best next.
So there can be some strategy involved.
You can front load and try and get as much damage in as possible,
but know that if the group of bad guys grows,
that they're going to also get a big deluge of damage down at the bottom.
So you can talk in character and try and find out who's got what, you know,
set people up for cool things.
If you want to set up like, you know,
it's just a ramp that you can, you know,
build a ramp that somebody can run off of and do something cool.
You can set that up now.
Look at this Popcorn Initiative thing.
If we find a rule that we've messed up because of this,
we'll cut back in with one of these cool help menu things.
OK, back to the episode.
Russ, so it's just the undead dragon.
There's nothing else with it.
All you see right now is a big cooth head sticking into this.
So that's all you see right now.
But it's like, yeah, like this massive dragon is like obstructing
basically the entire view of what could be beyond it,
which you know to be sewer from your recent memories.
OK, and it seems like it's focused on us,
like it's not looking to go after the people who are running away.
Yeah, it's a pretty is a pretty like bottlenecked venue that you're in.
So in order to get to anybody else, it would have to get past you.
So it is staring you down.
All right. Well, that will that will affect what I'm going to do here
with my turn, which is I'm going to run forward
and attack the fucking dead dragon head.
All right. With my battleaxe, here we go.
First one is a 22 to hit.
OK, 22 hits.
Second one will be a 19 to hit 19 also hits.
Oh, all right.
I was not expecting the 19 to hit to be perfectly honest with you.
Oh, that's a max damage.
That's 17.
Second one was not max damage.
So that's a nine to go with that 17.
So 26 slashing 26 slashing does that a magical or non magical weapon?
Did we decide it is a plus three weapon?
So it is magic.
Twenty six magical slashing damage. Love it.
And I do believe the dragon would respond to that immediately and go next.
OK, it's going to use its frightful presence.
So each creature of the dragon's choice within
120 feet of the dragon must.
So basically all of you and everybody beyond it
must succeed on a DC 16 wisdom saving throw or become frightened for one minute.
Everyone's got good whiz bonuses.
I fucking do.
I have to shit the bed real hard to mess this up.
Watch me. Yep.
There it is. Yep.
No, I fucking roll a three.
I got an 11 bonus on wisdom, an 11, y'all.
I'm going to use a lucky point because
I mean, I mean, if you don't use it now, when?
Yeah, I can't spend the rest of this turn being frightened from this fucking thing.
I'm going to go save the kids.
OK, that's that's better.
That's better. Twenty eight.
Hey, 28. Sorry, Yenbul.
Twenty six in tall gear.
Twenty one. All right.
And that's everybody.
So you're all unafraid and you are immune to the dragon's frightful
presence for the next 24 hours.
Excellent.
But it's also going to make three attacks.
That sounds more like a dragon.
How I picture it is, is its claws are trapped.
So it can't actually use its claws.
So I'm going to use a
a bite until it can like break more stone and get in.
So that's going to be a 27 to hit 13
plus six is 19 plus 19 piercing damage.
Is that all of us?
No, just on tall gear.
Perfect. Plus seven poison damage.
All right. I'm resistant to poison damage.
So I will take. That's a lie.
I forgot it's undead.
All of that is necrotic.
OK, 24 necrotic damage.
That's all the dragon can do right now.
Oh, also, Russ, I'm amused to be immune to being frightened
and amused by it because you think you're pretty scary.
With the face of your frightening.
Did I not pee my pants? I laugh at you.
That's right. OK.
Thea is going to cast
fairy fire on this bitch.
So they're dex safe.
13. No.
So any attack role against the affected creature has advantage
and it can't be invisible.
So Thea puts her hands out and
a purple glow emits from it and surrounds the dragon.
Yenball, get him. Get him.
I'm going to. I'm going to watch me.
Watch me.
Yenball is going to approach the dragon.
I'm picturing it like its feet are in, but like
like kind of like pulling like its head is over.
Yes. Yeah, OK.
I need to touch the dragon to do this.
But I'm going to.
I'm going to cast inflict wounds at ninth level.
All right. So let's see how that goes.
Wounds. Is there any save on that one?
Or that's a no, it's an attack.
It's just a melee attack.
Plus nine should be easy math because it's almost like plus 10.
So it's 24. 24 will hit.
Great. Because I hate you.
Wait, you can rule again and maybe get in.
Maybe get a nat 20.
Oh, yeah, you get advantage because of fairy fire.
OK. I mean, you might as well.
Maybe you'll get to double up that awesome.
I know that was worse.
OK, cool. Never mind.
But thank you. That was a 16.
That is going to be 11 D 10.
No way. At ninth level, hey.
Burn those spell slots, baby.
If you're not going to burn them fighting a dragon,
when you're going to burn them.
Yeah. Undead dragon. Let's do it.
Eighty five. Yeah.
When I just saw that pop up on my screen, I was like, oh, my God.
OK. So what what does 85
inflicting wounds damage look like on a dragon that's already falling apart?
Yeah, that's a good point.
So I touch it as distantly as I can
and sort of close my eyes and concentrate.
And you do see just more deterioration
and just like bits are coming off
because this thing is already not doing great.
So those aforementioned black rotten guts
maybe are probably starting to fall out.
Skin is falling off like he's just getting more skeletal.
Like, that's a that's a huge hit.
And now undead things, they don't feel pain, but
causes this dragon to recoil and like pulls its neck
and head back out and up street level.
And you hear its wings flap and like smack the ground
and it lifts up into the air.
And as you watch it go, you see no.
You hear coming in behind it first.
This like droning humming sound
and then this stench hits you.
As you see this huge,
like as the same size of the dragon before you, like prying its way,
a zombie made of more zombies.
Gross, gross.
So it's like a rat king, but it's a zombie zombie.
Exactly. OK, it's a zombie in the book.
It's called a zombie clot.
That's disgusting. Gross.
That is horrible.
That's a bad word and a bad thing.
But it has entered combat.
Yen Bull, it because it came in kind of at the end,
it's not in the original initiative.
So you could choose to go again first or you can pick something or someone else.
But it has come in like it is right there.
I feel like it would go next.
Like they were like, ha ha.
They like, I mean, I don't want that to happen,
but they're going to go sometime.
And if you've just landed, your dragon's flown off or like lifted up a little.
Seems like a good time.
This thing just propels itself smoothly,
like unnaturally smoothly down this sewer.
And you see like bodies and parts
writhing amongst this this figure that's coming towards you.
And as it gets within 10 feet of you,
Yen Bull, this deathly stench washes over you.
Make a constitution.
Actually, and Tulgear would be that close to because you were in melee as well.
Make a constitution saving throw.
Is this disease by chance?
It's poison.
Oh, well, I'm resistant to that.
I get advantage and I need it.
You say constitution?
Twenty four.
Fourteen.
So you don't take anything.
You're not immune to this effect,
which would be poison damage, but also something else.
So but you're not immune to it.
But it could happen again.
The arm, I guess you could say, that comes close to you recoils
and outshoots this mound of rotted flesh towards you.
Yen Bull, make a strength saving throw.
DC 16, please.
As this detached clump.
Thirteen lands on top of you,
and you're going to take 3D 10 bludgeoning damage
and become entombed.
In dead flesh.
Luckily, I rolled poorly, so that's 12 bludgeoning damage.
But a creature entombed in dead flesh is restrained,
has total cover against attacks and other effects outside the dead flesh
and takes 3D 6 necrotic damage at the start of each of its turns.
The creature can be freed from the dead flesh
if the dead flesh is destroyed.
It has an AC and hit points.
Yeah, so it's on top of you.
Every Telgear and Thea, you see this dead flesh fly off
and like just engulf around Yen Bull, who's now underneath it.
It's going to choose Kuth to go next.
I thought he flew away.
Yeah, he's still in combat.
You look and you see him.
He lifted himself up in the air
and you feel like the the propulsion of his wings
as he soars past and you hear him land further down
on the street.
And he's going to hit with his tail onto the ground.
Hit the ground, the ground just is.
The ground doesn't have like a base AC of 12.
No, funny.
No, the tail.
Every time I fall on the ground, do I deal damage to the ground?
Yeah, as a matter of fact, you do.
That's why there's so many potholes in Edmonton.
People just fall on the ground.
You hear the tail hit the ground and then with a second whack,
it comes through and debris falls down into the refuge
further down where everybody was trying to flee.
They had made it past this point.
I'm going to choose Yen Bull.
You're going to go next.
OK, so what can I do? I can't do anything.
You're going to take.
Well, first you're going to take three D six necrotic damage.
Just trying to kill you, Carla.
I was going to say, can Yen Bull delay
and I can try to get her out of that tomb of flesh?
Yeah, I haven't had a turn in forever.
We're trying out this popcorn thing,
so you're going to take 14 damage of the take that as a no.
Well, it's at the start of the turn,
so regardless of what you choose to do,
that happens, you can.
You're entombed.
So you're restrained, but if my spell is touch, it's touching me.
Attack rolls against the creature have advantage.
The creatures attack rolls have disadvantage,
so you can use attack rolls.
They have disadvantage.
But if you're using something without an attack, then you can.
It's touching you. Yeah.
OK, but it's touching me.
So you're touching it, which means I'm touching it.
It's stuck in the room with me. Exactly.
OK, then I am going to cast inflict wounds again,
because most of mine are saves.
It's one of my only things that is an attack.
So that is 21.
Twenty one definitely hits. Yep.
Forty five damage.
Yikes. The flesh explodes off of you and out into the room.
It's charred hit.
Yeah, it's gone. You're good. You're free.
I just didn't want to be trapped in gross flesh.
Let's get Thea in the mix.
Thea is going to turn toward this pile of zombie monster.
Put her hands out and you see a silvery beam of pale light
shining down from the sky.
This place is burst open, yes?
No, never mind. I'm just kidding.
I just remembered where I am and what I'm doing.
Fuck you.
And the horse you rode in.
All right, darkest time of night.
Right. The moon. Fuck everything.
Fuck the moon.
Whatever. The moon is stupid.
The purple light of the not moon.
That's right. No, no, no, no, no.
Tendrils shoot off of it in this lovely.
She's still going to put her put her hands out.
But at this point, a hail of rock hard ice
pounds to the ground in a 20 foot radius.
And I make it specifically on this zombie clot.
And they must make a dexterity saving throw.
Fourteen. Not good enough.
So the creature takes 4d8 bludgeoning damage
and 4d6 colds damage.
Out of curiosity, does your spell also make the ground
difficult terrain? Let's see.
Hail stones turn the storms area of effect
into difficult terrain until the end of your next turn.
I'm just going to roll them all at the same time.
Keeping that one. That one's eight.
Twenty seven.
I guess that doesn't do you need the difference between the two?
Is that going to make a really big difference?
No, it's fine. All right.
Twenty seven. And yes, the area is now difficult terrain.
And I shout over at tall gear and I say, careful slippery.
If it's slippery for him, it might be time for us to go.
Dare dare we don't go play with me.
But isn't our way blocked because.
Yeah, you've got a dragon on one side
and a zombie monster on the other.
And the oh, the way is blocking it.
I think we're going to have to kill one of them is caved in from the dragon.
Yeah. So the tail crashed in.
So debris fell in.
You could get through, but there is a dragon right above that hole
who is currently still affected by fairy fire.
And therefore I would have advantage against him.
You betcha. I'm going to go for the dragon. All right.
Baby, why don't you just meet me in the middle?
I was wondering when we were going to get around in this one.
Right, because there are so many songs with the middle in it.
Like, is next time going to be some Jimmy World?
I hope so. Maybe. Maybe. I was thinking about it.
I was like, oh, God, we need to like do something more with this middle
because I'm just running out of like spinning my tires on notes.
So and now Marin Morris and rhymes.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, we did. We we met you in the middle.
We're here. We're here.
We didn't talk about what we were going to talk about prior to.
No, that's just making me losing my mind just a little.
But what we have going on over on Patreon is a special
new and upgrading patrons.
When you sign up for an annual membership, you get two months free.
Two months free. What?
That's one month more than I thought it was.
That's how exactly double the thought that Amy had.
Whatever Amy thought, double it, double that.
Generally speaking, it's probably a safe bet.
When people support us on Patreon, not what do they get,
but how do they help us? Oh, man.
They fill our hearts with glee.
Sorry. I froze for a moment.
I know I'm remembering things.
You're doing great. Back to you, Carly.
Oh, I was just saying they fill our hearts with glee.
So they got me a new microphone.
I got Tom, a new microphone and my old laptop.
Ain't going to last forever.
And honestly, guys, a lot of boring shit.
That's really important, though.
Like sure, hosting and and paying for websites.
Yeah, like all this stuff.
Our art commission.
That's less boring, but yes, that's fine.
But sound effects libraries
that Russ can use to make our shit sound way better.
All of that.
Also, wonderful connection and community over on our Discord.
I mean, that also that's for us and our community.
Absolutely. So there's lots of amazing things
that help not only Dumbgeons and Dragons,
but our other shows, Facing Fate, DM to GM in part
and any other shows we decide to come up with between now and 2022.
Who knows what will happen?
There'll be a business meeting in there somewhere in a second.
We've gone out of hand.
This is totally fine.
Spinoffs every time.
I just only a little bit.
But in the meantime, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
You'll be the first to find out before Tom, Amy and Carla.
Probably what new is coming.
Yeah, tracks, even if they've been told that you're
probably the first because they forget.
We would love to have you over there.
And if we not if we we would love to hit one hundred
patrons by the time we hit a hundred episodes.
But we don't we don't have to hold it to us.
That would just be really cool.
But what happens when we do hit one hundred patrons?
Oh, my goodness.
We get to release the Flaming Kins Grants this episode.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Yeah, motherfuckers.
We've been talking about this so goddamn long.
I hope the hype holds up.
Well, you know, it's it's Tom, Carla and I run in that game.
Just running you into the ground into the abyss ground.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So, you know, help us get there.
We really want the world to experience that.
Yeah. How many things can they throw at us?
But also make him talk to himself because the NPCs go silent.
Well, I mean, that's that's most.
You put yourself in that fire.
I'm just I did. I did.
Hey, it was one of those, hey, what ifs?
And it happened.
But now we want to release it to you because that would be super awesome.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
Love you. Bye.
What was that?
Baby, it's our new audio signature.
I thought now there's the bloopers.
The dumb dragon's production.
I mean, it's just like that kid from from the middle.
Yeah. The one who whispers things.
How thematic. That's right.
Bringing it all together.
OK, bye, everybody. Bye.
Do this. Is he within reach?
Yeah. For fun's sake, we'll say he's in reach.
I love fun. Yeah.
All right. First attack is not great.
So all advantage on that bad boy.
There we go. That's better.
Twenty eight. Yes, sir.
Second attack is pretty fucking good.
Second attack was a 31.
Hey, yes. OK, here we go.
Time to hit that tail a few times.
Fifteen slashing damage and 17.
So 32 all said and done.
Got ahead of myself was going to say 27.
I was like, no, it was a 10.
It was a 10 plus seven, not a 20 plus seven.
OK, it's going to take a legendary action
and attack you with its tail.
It's a 26 to hit. Oh, yeah.
Fifteen bludgeoning.
OK, well, after I guess it's back to me again.
You you would have been last in order.
It took a legendary action, which is outside of that.
But you you could choose you again or you can call to somebody else.
All right. I'm going to choose me again.
But then I'm going to tee up Thea to take two actions next.
And I'll do it.
I will just keep hacking away at this undead dragon.
OK, 26.
But I'll roll again in case I crit.
New second one is 21.
So 26 and 21.
Both of those ahead.
And I'm going to hit it with branding smite
at a fifth level.
OK, so next time I had a creature with weapon
attack before this spell ends, the weapon glimpsed with astral radiance
as I strike.
Attack deals an extra.
Let's see here.
It'll be five d six because I'm casting at fifth level.
OK, and that's radiant damage to it.
So here goes damage.
And I'll get all the d six as I can to hopefully do it in one roll.
And I'm assuming it will only hit on one of the attacks that I have.
I think so. I think it's a triggered on a single attack.
OK, normal damage was a 14 on the hit
and then radiant damage wise, 23 radiant damage.
And then on the second hit, 16 damage.
Sweet. All right.
And I throw like the two finger salute up for Thea to be like.
Two times, two times, two times.
A couple of things happen during during these attacks.
So every time you're.
Well, I mean, the damage you're dealing into this dragon
is causing huge chunks of flesh to fall off, like ooze
pouring out beneath you, creating difficult terrain beneath your feet.
Perfect.
Another thing that you notice
and more probably more specifically, you told here is every time a spell is
cast, like this wisp of white aura
is drawn towards you and passed towards the spellcaster.
I mean, I know it's not a thing to like be using magic willy nilly,
but like we got a fucking problem.
I get it. I'm just telling you what you see.
Yeah, I can't be scimitaring an undead dragon.
Yeah, not going to cut it with my one.
Literally, it's just not going to cut it.
Yeah, it's just not. Yeah.
We cut to the main group who's running away.
We cut to Leosan and we see
Bahamut, who has this white aura about him.
We see Grancis and Flint and we focus more on Flint
and we hear fast footsteps
are racing through a very busy street.
The sound of heavy armor accompanies them.
And we hear Flint scream out Drenkor.
I know it's you. I will catch you.
No, you can't catch me.
You still wear all that hot, hot armor.
OK, bye.
And he takes a rip down a corner just as you are trying to catch up to him.
You turn and you see him
just as he connects with Leon and Glory Gems arm
and his clothesline, like spun around this small for
dwarfs are normally stout, very hefty individuals.
Timus Drenkor is not that he's more halfling built
still a dwarf, long shaggy beard that gets wrapped around
further around Leon and Glory Gems arm and is like
almost pulled back and then thrown to the ground.
So you're getting slow there, Firebeard.
OK, first off, the the captain of the city guard uniform here
doesn't exactly make for easy, breezy running times,
but I got to say, full credit, I was a hell of a clothesline.
It helps when he's looking behind him, not to see the arm come out.
Right. The best part is, is that, yeah, he was looking back at me
and he turned back just as that arm came out.
So I bet you can see the whites of his eyes pretty good
when he was surprised by that one.
You know what, let's check the replay and we hear like a quick rewind
sound fire up and it's just right before Drenkor hits Leonan's arm.
You see his eyes just slowly because it's now in slow motion.
We've gone bullet time look and the panic sets in as this armored
behemoth of a forearm jumped is shoved out in front of him.
His jaw like crunches in and the skin pushes back.
And the beard, which had been like blowing in the wind,
is now forward and wrapping around as he's spinning around this arm.
And it's going back and forth and back and forth
right before he slams into the ground.
So you want me to take him back to the to the precinct, or you?
We can go together. Sure.
It'd be a nice chance to have a little chat as we so we drag him off for
yet another stay in the old hotel.
Leonan kind of leans down and Timus is he's groaning.
Oh, there's got to be brutality there somewhere,
but we're not going to touch that because that seems a little too on the nose.
Handcuffs him and picks him up and brushes him off and says,
you're going to be all right.
Yeah, we'll get you. We'll get you fixed up.
So how's Captain Life treating you as you begin to walk off
towards the precinct?
You know, it's a lot more work than I thought it would be.
But I got to say, pretty rewarding in the long run.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, while you saw the city guard before I rose up to be captain,
it was a bit of shame.
Yeah, it was it was in shambles.
To be perfectly honest with you.
Well, you're doing a good job.
I appreciate the
not that there was any preferential treatment.
I appreciate the moving through the ranks on on your old pal
glory gem side, too, you know.
Oh, I mean, you earned it, but
there's nothing fishy.
You beat everybody out.
Come up and be lieutenant.
Yeah, I beat everybody out, including me.
I don't remember you applying time is you know what I'm talking about.
Look, my teeth are never going to be the same.
Oh, you'll be all right.
Kind of gives him a shove forward as you move up the steps
into the precinct.
Well, I'll fill out the paperwork here if you want to take them down.
I know it's been a while since you've been down there.
It's two lefts and a right.
I mean, it hasn't been that long.
I got it.
Two lefts and a right, of course.
You take drink hard down the steps, follow back down,
leading towards the cells of this precinct as as glory.
Jim moves over to the main desk and and books them.
All right, Timus, what do you want cell three, cell four,
your favorite and cell five?
What what what what what what what what you feel into?
Well, I mean, the the the air in five is very nice.
Like there's this little draft that comes down from from outside the mountain.
And it makes you feel like you're you're outside,
living the free, the free breeze, living on the free breeze.
I mean, yeah, that's if that's what you want.
I'm a pretty I'm a pretty easygoing guy.
I'll hook you up with number five.
Oh, I won't forget this.
I won't forget this fire beard.
I mean, I think you probably will.
That's OK. Yeah.
Well, until the next time, I won't forget this.
You you treat me right.
Not like that glory, Jim.
He's all hands.
Well, I mean, in your defense, you were looking the wrong way.
You could have seen him coming if you had your if if you had your head
swiveled around. Well, I guess I got to get my head on a swivel.
You enter the jail cell area, door swings open,
big heavy door swings open.
There are eight cells in here
and you begin moving towards cell five.
And out of the corner of your eye, you see in cell three
what looks like a dragonborn
seated on a stump in the middle of this lush rainforest.
You look to it because it's something that shouldn't be there.
And as you look, it's gone.
There there is a dragonborn there.
Looks like he's had a few too many.
And he's kind of just leaned up against the bars.
Hey, hey, Thomas, did you see that?
I see what in cell three that drunkard?
Yeah, I saw him last night.
Maybe he's just sleeping it off.
You saw him last night.
Oh, no, I was referring.
Well, OK, it's going to sound really weird.
I swear there was a jungle in there a minute ago, a jungle
under the mountain.
You've lost. Yeah, that's that's the thing.
I don't I don't know what to tell you, but
guess guess my eyes are playing tricks on me.
Desk life has got you soft air fire beard.
All right. You want me to tuck me in or are you going to do it?
I mean, you know the drill by now.
I'll open the door. You can do the rest.
All right. Nighty night, sweet prince.
Good night, Thomas.
We'll see you again real soon, I'm sure you walk back out
and you take another glance at the dragonborn who's passed out.
You hang there for a moment.
And then carry on back upstairs
to make sure that the paperwork is all filled out and camera pans back down.
And we begin to see that jungle forming before our eyes
and a vision.
And the camera begins moving quickly.
And the sound of footsteps are crunching through this leaves.
And we see the back of this dragonborn who's got his
he's looking quickly over his shoulder.
This dragonborn is running through the jungle.
It's hot. It's muggy.
And he's being chased.
What's his next move?
Oh, God.
He kind of stops and he's trying to catch his breath quickly before he moves.
He's looking around for any sign of where he is.
He's gotten lost like the path below him is is no longer a path.
It's just so overgrown.
And he he he pulls his bow and arrow and he notches one
just in case something sneaks up on him.
And he looks up and there's just like a crack through the canopy
where he sees a little bit of movement and recognizes
like a carving in part of the tree, which you see just a quick glimpse
reminds him of where he is and he books off towards the west.
He continues running through the jungle.
And as he's going, he's been hearing
the sound of leaves getting pushed out of the way
and branches breaking behind him and to the side of them and above them.
And and he knows he needs to keep moving.
And he comes to a fork in the road.
There's there's a path that splits off to the left
and a path that splits off to the right.
And he hears the noise behind him getting a little bit louder.
He doesn't hesitate.
He knows that this this path leads to the right,
leads back to his camp, he heads to the right.
As he makes a break to the right, he feels
a like an amount of wind kind of go past his
the right side of his face and the kind of back of his neck.
And just out of the corner of his eye, he sees this like
demonic looking monkey.
Flying just past him,
coming out of the bush to his right, fucking Wongo.
Fuck found me.
He loses an arrow towards it and Wongo lets out a cry.
And you're not sure if if you hit him with the arrow
or if he is just offended that you shot at him
or what the deal is, but he lets out this cry.
And you know that you need to get back to camp.
Because otherwise, Wongo will get you.
Fuck. Wongo's not going to get me.
Not today. Not Bort. Not Bort. Bort's not going to get me.
I got by Wongo.
He throws his bow back on his on his back and with
even more vigor, he pushes through all all of the pain
that's setting into his muscles and he rushes as fast as he can
towards his camp.
You come stumbling out of the jungle, out of breath,
you land on your hands and knees.
And you see, well, for a lack of a better term,
your tour guide in this jungle.
You see Scyther up ahead and he
kind of waves you over and says, what, what's what's what's
what's the problem?
Wongo, Wongo, Wongo, there's a Wongo coming.
He's going to get he's going to get us.
We got to get we got to go.
Well, OK, is it a Wongo or is it Wongo?
There's only one.
There's only one. It's the Wongo.
Why are we arguing about this?
Remember what it is about Wongo?
We've been over this.
We've been over all nine. Yeah.
But it's better to be Wongo's friend than his enemy.
What if what did you do to offend Wongo?
I mean, there was this there was this altar and there was
I mean, there was a there was this cup on on it.
And I was thirsty.
So there was a spring beside it.
And as you just kind of took a took a drink from it.
And then and then heard heard the heard the noise,
which gave me a start and saw him through the trees.
And he reaches into his bag and
pulls out the cup as I I accidentally took the cup.
OK, and then that's that's going to be a problem.
And then I maybe winged him with an arrow, maybe.
OK, yeah, not great.
And that'd be it, though, that'd be it.
So I drink the cup to put the cup in the bag.
And what kind of what kind of treats do you have in your bag?
What can what can we offer him as a peace offering?
I mean, this is the most valuable thing I have right now is this cup.
I mean, I got some just
basic adventuring gear to stay alive out here.
OK, tell you what. OK, we're going to put the cup down.
We're going to leave it here.
I'm going to put some of these berries in it
because I don't know if he's going to like them or not,
but it's a it's a bit of a peace offering from us to him.
And we are going to back away
and we're going to head back to the camp.
And hopefully we're going to leave it there.
OK, OK. Yeah, he puts the cup down.
Watches, watches either put the put the berries in
and they slowly starts backing away further up the further up the path.
As as the two of them back away, you see
Wongo burst forth from the jungle that that board had just come out of.
And he stops and lets out a screech.
He puts his his his head up to the heavens and he lets out this
this piercing screech.
And as he looks back down, he sees the cup on the ground.
And his his demeanor kind of changes immediately.
And he kind of walks forward.
And he brings his tail around from the side
and he picks up the cup with his tail.
And he kind of looks towards the two of them.
He doesn't nod.
But you know, there's an understanding between the two of you now.
Don't take his shit.
And he won't try to kill you.
So probably shouldn't take his shit anymore.
I mean, yeah, if you if you find some.
OK, here's the thing about Chult.
And I know we've been over this, but if you find random bits of treasure,
best to not touch it. Right. Right. Yeah. OK.
Just, you know, we're just going to leave that one.
And OK, we're going to head back to camp.
We're going to take it easy from here on in.
No more pissing off any of the nine.
Hey, what if I pissed off one more of the nine?
I'm going to I'm going to need some more information,
and I hope it's not one of the bad ones.
So Thea is going to Thea does not notice his wispiness.
Not really. It's kind of coming from behind you.
Right. So I mean, role role or role perception 20.
You would notice that there is an aura every time you're casting something
and every time you like when you saw a Yenbul cast,
you didn't see Tulgear cast.
But there is an aura.
You can't explain necessarily where it's coming from.
I assume that I would feel that that there is a shift.
There is something happening when we're casting.
But again, I feel the exact same way
when you are face to face with a gross zombie made of zombie monster.
Yeah. You got to do what you got to do.
Sure. So I'm going to Eldritch Blast.
A 19. Yeah. A 12.
No. Oh, sorry.
Well, you're fighting the zombie thing, right?
Yeah. 12 hits. Yeah.
So I was going to 13.
Yeah. Damn. I was going off the dragon stuff.
Fuck yeah, boy.
OK, that's 3d10.
That's 18 force damage.
Force 18 force damage.
Thea like puts her hand out all cool, like and then like,
you know, from nowhere, a liquid fire blade forms in her hand.
And it is long and scary looking.
You hear from down the hall flame, it can yell,
you could do that the whole time. Probably.
And it's blue.
And and and it really brightens up the place.
Lots of light comes off of this thing. Yeah.
And Thea swings at this zombie gross thing.
Swing. Actually, I think 12.
No, plus 10, 14, 14 hits, 11 fire damage.
So Yenbul and the plot,
the plot, I think the plot would retaliate against my,
you know, blasting and lighting it on fire.
Great. We're going to see if it recharges your Romeo D6.
Yeah, I'd love to.
So one doesn't recharge,
but it does get to slam it to actually your.
Yeah, it's going to try to move past
Yenbul. It doesn't move past like there are parts of it
and it's moving around Yenbul.
So not very far because it's rough terrain.
So slippery. How far were you back?
I was very close to it.
OK, then I moved maybe 30 feet.
Yeah, you're because my movement also make a constitution saving throw
then as it comes in to slam attack you and Yenbul.
I'd prefer that to fail.
Yeah, 16.
Yenbul, you save Thea.
You're going to take nine poison damage and then slam attacks.
First one on Thea is going to be at 27.
Second one on Yenbul is going to be at 11.
18 bludgeoning damage for Thea and then Yenbul, you are up.
So the dragon is like at street level, right?
So we are obviously like we are no longer in the sewer.
Yeah, or we are in the sewer, but things are.
Yeah, things are cascading in.
So you can you could climb up and out.
You're engaged with this zombie thing happening around you.
But yes, but I can see the sky.
Yes, in all of its terrifying glory.
There's no moon.
Yeah, it's very dark.
It's very dark.
I guess, yeah, the zombie is like on me,
so it doesn't really make sense for me to attack the dragon.
So I'd like the zombie
zomboid. What did you call it?
Clot. Zombie clot.
I'd like them to make a dex save.
12. Great.
I'm going to call lightning.
So a big cloud appears in the sky and lightning is going to zap them up
real good, and it's going to keep zapping them on subsequent turns
unless I lose my concentration.
But for now, they'll take 33
lightning damage. Yeah, well,
parts of this thing are falling off and like the flesh is
you can you can smell the smell so bad.
It was so bad to begin with, but now it's like burning so bad.
Bad hair burning smell flesh.
It's it's so bad, but it takes a huge amount of damage
and like parts of it are are falling to the ground
and trying to reach up and claw themselves back towards this main mass.
What if we get some dragon nonsense out of the way?
Yeah, you can rest a smile.
I know I don't like that.
That's my mark.
It's always going to be bad.
At least this way, we can just all all react back.
So you attack the tail, so it pulls its tail out.
Tall gear and turns and you see the ma of this dragon open
and this black cloud vapor
begin to pour out and fills in a 60 foot cone
the entire causeway of all of you.
So please make a constitution saving throw
and beat an 18 15 25 nine.
Google is my friend for 16 D6.
Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.
Oh, that's not that bad.
So Yenbul and Thea are going to take 53 necrotic damage.
From its rotting breath.
Tall gear, you're going to take half of that.
So it's that 26. Sounds delightful.
I guess when I take damage, that stops my concentration, doesn't it?
You can roll to save against it.
You have to beat half the amount of damage, I think.
You'd have to beat a 26 on your con save using your wisdom.
Can you do that using my con save bonus?
You would have to do that as well for your fairy fire.
Impossible.
And in all honesty, I think that fairy fire is gone.
I've cast a different spell.
Oh, OK. So yeah, then it dissipates.
And yeah, any any lingering spells are gone.
It roars and shakes the walls.
As the roar dies down, you hear.
Quick footsteps up on the street, small, quick footsteps.
And you hear a blade cut hard into the dragon
and the head droops for a second
and then falls down into the cavern.
And dropping down, carrying a double bladed, glowing sword
with like flame coming from her nostrils, is this.
Copper and bronze and gold and platinum dragonborn.
And gold and platinum dragonborn.
Who's quickly followed down by a halfling and half-orc.
Oh, fuck.
Dumbgeons and Dragons, season two, episode 98,
starring Amy More as Thea Amastasia,
Carla Maxted as Yen Bolnuri, Tom Laird as Tulkier Heavyfoot
and Russ More as your dungeon master.
Editing, production and sound design by Russ More.
This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound
and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers, Gabriel Lynch,
Jessica Babyok, Kat Waterflame, Stevie, Jacob Madden, Devin Michaels,
Christian Brown, Aaron Stevens, Lulahan and Charlie Warley.
To support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other productions
and get access to an exclusive podcast called The Adventures of,
bonus episodes and much more, please join our Patreon
at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast, where when we reach 100 patrons,
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Escaping the Abyss.
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Thank you for listening.
Have a great week.
We'll talk again soon.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.